I like when the author doesn’t provide a single diagnostics and a single solution to our many diverse characters and behaviors. This book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, provides five languages for love, i.e. five ways to express love. I believe that recognizing our differences is the first step towards achieving a better understanding for this topic.
The five languages are appreciation, time, presents, help, and physical contact.
Here is a nice infographic about those five languages.
Personally, I believe in this part:
[One who is “in love” is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person. “If we have any purpose in mind when we fall in love it is to terminate our own loneliness and perhaps ensure this result through marriage.” The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth nor on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth. We are at the apex of life’s happiness, and our only desire is to stay there. Certainly our beloved does not need to grow because she is perfect. We simply hope she will remain perfect].
A much-recommended book not only for married people, but also to understand the wider context of human relationships.